Stay Healthy: Five Sexy Porn Nurses
Health care in America is a delicate subject, but no matter what you think of the ACA, everybody loves a sexy nurse. Since it’s very possible that your health plan over the next four years could consist of aspirin and hot nurse porn, we’ve decided to pick out five of our favorite porn stars to fill out the ideal fantasy hospital roster. Stay healthy!
Tera Patrick
Tera Patrich is rumored to have had some nursing training; in the world of porn, where the quality of reporting is patchy at best, people are willing to believe anything from Wikipedia’s “briefly studied nursing at Boise State University, then received EMT certification from a local vocational school” to IMDB’s “At 18 she quit modeling and returned to school, getting a degree in microbiology [and finding] employment as a nurse”. Whatever the truth might be, Tera probably knows more about bodies than most, even if she is more likely to cause an arrhythmia than cure one.
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Nina Hartley
Nina’s claim to being an actual nurse seems pretty legit, given that Wikipedia says, in slightly more detailed fashion, that she “attended San Francisco State University’s undergraduate nursing school and graduated magna cum laude in 1985.” I don’t know if she has maintained her credentials since then (or even if she has to), but Nina’s another woman I’d definitely trust with my bodies in a crisis.
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Gauge
One of the biggest stars in porn in the oughts, Gauge was the top of the heap from 1999 until 2005, when she retired after more than 2000 movies. She was naturally recognized at the hospital where she trained as a surgical technician, and found other employment difficult to come by after that. I don’t know if I’d want to have to rely on her if i needed saving – for one thing she’s only 4’11” tall, which might make things like the Heimlich maneuver more difficult (although let’s be honest, if one of us is more likely to be choking on something, it’s probably not me), but I’d be perfectly happy to have her hand me stuff.
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Jesse Jane
The closest Jesse Jane has ever gotten to actual nursing has been a couple of trips to the boob doctor and her ownership of a line of teeth-whitening projects, but holy cow does she look good in a nurse’s uniform – or mostly in one, anyway. Well, mostly out of one. Let’s not kid ourselves. Jesse Jane is like those guys in the Holiday Inn Express commercials, who can’t do stuff but feel really smart because they made a good choice about which hotel to stay in. I’m pretty sure that I’d die if I had to rely on her as a medical practitioner, but if I have to go, I’d just as soon do it with her dazzling smile and huge fake tits right in my face.
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Stoya
Same deal as Jesse Jane, really, but Stoya looks especially like an angel of mercy. She really looks like an actual angel, given that she is almost translucent and has a heavenly glow about her. Now that I think about it, Stoya looks more like what you’d end up seeing after you went to Jesse Jane for medical treatment, but watching her in Nurses with Jesse and Katsuni, Riley Steele, and Shay Jordan makes me feel a lot healthier. It makes me want to do some vigorous cardio, you know?
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