How To Keep Your Relationship Spicy With Sex Toys

By: Casey Calvert

Casey Calvert Toy

It’s the beginning of the holiday season, and Gamelink is bringing you an awesome list of luxury sex toys at discounted Black Friday prices. And I think that something new and naughty makes a great gift for that special someone in your life. 

Sex toys are excellent additions to any healthy relationship. Besides spicing things up, sex toys can help increase intimacy and communication between you and your partner. Thinking of bringing home a toy, but not sure how to do it? Let me help:

Communicate, communicate, communicate

Yes, it’s sex ed 101. But just like with anything else in your relationship, it’s important to communicate. Don’t just whip out a toy in the middle of going at it. Instead, mention it when the time is right – when you aren’t banging. Bring it up in small talk. Ask if it’s something they want to try; don’t make any demands. Who knows? Maybe your partner has been thinking about it too.

Reassure your partner

I’ve heard a lot of guys say that they are worried about their girlfriend’s having vibrators. They say, “But if she has that, she won’t need me anymore!” I’m here to tell you, dudes, that’s not true. Masturbation is fun, yes, but we love you for a reason. Ladies, make sure your dude knows this. Reassure him that a vibrator isn’t going to replace him. Tell him how hard you’ll cum on his cock when he fucks you while you use it. And guys, you need to reassure your girl too. Maybe she’s never fucked a guy while he wears a cock ring, or played with his ass. Tell her it’s all about feeling good and having fun together.

Experimentation is fun

Us people, living in the 21st century, we have it pretty darn good. We don’t have to bang just to make babies, we can do it because it feels fucking good. And you’ll never know what feels good until you try. That’s what toys are for. Keep an open mind.

No pressure

But, if you really don’t want to try something, speak up. If you are super uncomfortable, trust me, your partner will be too. And please, if you are the one making the suggestion, don’t put undue pressure on your bedmate. They will only resent you. Instead, talk about it. See why they are uncomfortable. Try to reach a compromise.

Getting started

Now that you know all that, you definitely want to give this whole ‘toy in the bedroom’ thing a shot, huh? Here’s some ideas to get you started:

Massage first, then more: The best way to get relaxed and in the mood is with a massage, right? The Hello Touch from Jimmyjane is perfect for this. Put it on, and start with the back, before moving to something more erogenous. The vibrations feel incredible for both girls and guys, so take turns.

Hello Touch

Show him how you like it: With a super versatile vibrator like the Jimmyjane Form 5 , put on a show for him. Demonstrate exactly how you like it, and then let him get involved. Have him hold it while you blow him and then put it on the base of his cock so he can feel what you are feeling.

Last even longer: Cock rings are great for extending pleasure. The Lelo Pino Vibrating Cockring is designed to feel good for both the guy and girl. She’ll love the vibrations and how long you last. You’ll love how hard you feel (Plus, it comes with cuff links and a money clip. Super fancy!).

Blow her mind: This is one of my favorite things to do in bed. My guy fucks me in missionary, and I hold my Rechargeable Magic Wand to my clit. I love that it has different intensity settings, and that we don’t have to wrestle with a cord. I can adjust the pressure myself, and when I do cum… It’s incredible. Guys, you hand her the vibrator. It’s super hot to know that you want us to use it.

Rechargeable Magic Wand

Try something different: Anal play is fun, guys, and the Loki Prostate Stimulator from Lelo is a great butt toy. Not too big, not too small, it’s super versatile. Use it on her, but it’s really designed for him. Guys, let her put something in you for a change. Your prostate is like her g-spot. You might really like it.

Just because it’s is getting cold outside, doesn’t mean you have to be chilly this holiday season season. Normally I would recommend this be a purchase you two make this purchase together, but what the hell, it’s the holiday season! Feel ‘em out a bit, drop some hints, then heat things up with a brand new toy. There’s more than the turkey that needs stuffing so get to it! 

Loki Prostrate Stimulator from Lelo



Casey Calvert

About Casey Calvert

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Casey Calvert, the fetish model turned rising adult star began watching porn at a young age, but didn’t lose her virginity until she was 21. Already nominated for numerous AVN and XBIZ Awards, as well as the 2015 XRCO Unsung Siren award, and boasting modeling credits in Hustler's Taboo, AVN, and the Mammoth Book of Erotic Photography, the University of Florida magna cum laude grad’s resume also includes writing about sexuality and culture for outlets such as The Huffington Post. Casey also educates on the topics of BDSM and fetishes through live appearances around the country, such as speaking to university students at UCLA.