I’m not a man who engages others in order to maintain my own appearance; I’ve gone out for haircuts here and there, and once I even got frustrated enough with shaving, which as far as I’m concerned is the male equivalent of menstruation – our Biblical punishment for the sins of Adam or something – and went to have a barber do it for me, but by and large I tend to take care of it myself. Long story short, I just tend not tend up in places where grooming and pampering take place, but – and here is where we get to today’s review – I would probably spend a lot more time in them if I ran up on one called the Booty Parlor. Even if I didn’t know what exactly was going on in there, I would probably want to check it out, especially if I hung around the doorway for a bit and saw the likes of Reagan Foxx or Hime Marie going in.
One of the best things about Fantasy Massage movies is the effort they go through to get the two people (sometimes three) into a situation where a massage therapist can start fucking his or her client; it reminds me of the glory days of Rodney Moore and his hilariously elaborate convolutions he put in play to create a situation in which a hot young girl could conceivably end up fucking Rodney Moore. Some were moderately believable, most were not, but when you have seen a million porn scenes, the power of imagination becomes much more important. Anyway, the evolutions in Booty Parlor are the same – some are clever and relatable, some are drearily unimaginative. Who hasn’t had a fantasy about their high-school teacher (mine was the gym teacher, a sturdy, trim little dyke with short hair who set my preferences for years to come. Unfortunate, I know. There was also a much more conventional French teacher, but I digress. Anyway, Reagan Foxx’s fantasy – or maybe it’s Lucas Frost’s – is interesting, whereas unless you have a fetish for inappropriate conduct from your massage therapist, the others aren’t, so much.
Chloe Cherry says she’s not very confident about her butt, that her boyfriend doesn’t pay attention to her ass, and she’s worried that maybe it’s not attractive, but honestly no girl with ass insecurity would walk around in those shorts. I mean, almost in those shorts. They cover virtually nothing, and they’re skin tight. She knows what she’s got. Still, I guess the people who dress porn stars for their roles don’t have a lot of modest clothing lying around. Chloe, a slim blonde with a cute face and very convincing as an 18-year-old but not so convincing as an inexperienced one, is one of those squeaky, high-pitched girls you usually only hear the like of in Japanese movies. She says she’s never been with a guy aside from her boyfriend, so her massage therapist Ryan McLane is pretty much obligated to show her how a real man appreciates a woman. He’s a great fuck, but a bad massage therapist, because – typical man – he goes right for her mouth and pussy but pays zero attention to her ass, which is what she was worried about in the first place, except to come on it.
When Reagan Foxx comes in for her massage, she feels like maybe she knows Lucas Frost from somewhere, but it’s not until she’s naked on the table and Lucas has his greedy little hands all over her that it comes out that she’s a teacher at his old high school, and he’s had a crush on her for quite a while. By that time, though, she’s already called attention to her huge fake boobs, which I guess if you put as much effort into getting them as she did, you do as much as you can. He falls for her trap and offers her a special boob massage, and while they’re in the middle of that, the fantasy massage starts. Turns out they had crushes on each other and were both playing coy, but he’s not her student anymore and neither of them is married, so it’s go time. Shortly thereafter, “fantasy massage” is revealed to mean “fucking” and Lucas indulges her every inappropriate teacher fantasy. Reagan is a brunette MILF with a shaved pussy, a nice ass, and expensive tits that prove to be the perfect place for a load of cum to land.
Hime Marie is a cutie with long blonde hair and a sharp, foxy face; she says she pulled some muscles doing gymnastics and needs a good stretch, and her trainer Isiah Maxwell is happy to oblige. He says some relatively convincing stuff about getting deep into the muscles and about how other stuff affects your back, and he plays innocent when she says she’s not sure if he should be touching her quite that much or in those places, but he stops being innocent when she points out that she’s never had a black cock and might want his. At this point, I’m not sure if this is fantasy massage or interracial – it’s hard to tell which of these features might be more important. Given that you came here, presumably, for massage, i’m going to backburner the racial stuff and just say that Hime Marie is super cute, has perfect little tits, looks good fucking, and takes a load on the belly like a pro.
