“Eat My Muffin”: The Girly Nooks And Crannies of Tanya Tate

Movie Review of Eat My Muffin by Girlsway

Reviewed By: P. Weasels |

Email P. Weasels P. Weasels Twitter

Eat My Muffin

It looks like there’s a new player on the fauxcest scene – Girlsway, with their “Mommy’s Girl” line, is bidding fair to offer some competition to Digital Sin’s current market dominance. I’m sure it won’t be long before other contenders start horning in, especially since there’s an award category for it now – Best Taboo …

Read the Full Review

Eat My Muffin Movie Details

Title: Eat My Muffin
Studio: Girlsway
Director: Girlsway
Stars: Tanya Tate Scarlett Red Bailey Bae Cherie DeVille Staci Carr Taylor White Katarina Kay
Overall Rating:

4.25 stars
Purchase Eat My Muffin

It looks like there's a new player on the fauxcest scene - Girlsway, with their "Mommy's Girl" line, is bidding fair to offer some competition to Digital Sin's current market dominance. I'm sure it won't be long before other contenders start horning in, especially since there's an award category for it now - Best Taboo Relations movie. A few weeks ago, I reviewed "Brandi's Girls and Other Stories" and enjoyed the ride, even though neither genre - incest or lesbian porn - especially appeals to me. Let's see how "Eat My Muffin" fares. It already has a head start because I have such fond memories of my previous favorite all-girl food-themed porn movie, "The Lesbian Cooking Show".

Eat My Muffin

Scene 1: Eat My Muffin Part I

I could sit through any number of scenes with Tanya Tate in them, not for her talent as an actress or the wonders of her body, but just as an exercise in trying to figure out the rules of her accent, which always sounds to me as though she is making it up as she goes along. In the Game of Thrones parody a couple of years ago, she was the only Brit in a cast of Americans and still managed to sound like she was the only one faking it; she always plays posh characters because we in America figure that anyone with any UK accent at all is some ilk of royalty, but I am pretty sure that her accent is what they call Scouse, and it is not the way they talk in the parlor at Whitehall. Anyway, she isn't too noble to make muffins, and that is not a cute euphemism for anything. In the usual way of these things, Scarlett Red drops by to hang out with Bailey Bae, but spends time with Bailey's mom instead, and then accidentally outs her friend as a poor cocksucker. You know how these things happen. Of course, matters devolve, and Tanya ends up giving some oral pleasure lessons, but with no dick around to demonstrate, what are you going to do? Eat pussy, that's what. Any port in a storm.

Eat My Muffin

Scene 2: Eat My Muffin Part II

Of course, as the action is winding down, Bailey comes home, and the stress of finding her mom tonguing her best friend just freaks her the fuck out, but not enough to put her off the idea of finding out what they were up to, and reenacting a chunk of it. It's tempting to say that Tanya's assertion that she can teach the girls to suck cock by practicing on each other is a good example of why the sun has set on the British Empire, but people like Tanya aren't the ones that were steering the ship when it started to get dark. Anyway, Bailey gets over her disgust when Mom offers a cocksucking lesson by way of advice to the beginner. Still no cocks in sight, but it is beginning to become apparent that Tanya is, as the joke goes, not necessarily in this for the hunting. She knows her way around a pussy, though, and once she stops pretending that the lesson is about boys, well, things get clearer.

Eat My Muffin

Scene 3: Yard Bird

Tanya needs a rest after that afternoon of nonstop girl sex, so we cut to the home of Mrs. Cherie DeVille, where Staci Carr has come to ask if there is any yardwork to be done, so she can save up money for college. One assumes she is going to Dollar College, because yardwork? That's not going to go far in these times. Anyway, Cherie isn't going to let her go home all yard-dirty, so a bath is in order, and of course some personal washing. It's not odd at all for Cherie to take off her own clothes too, because of course she doesn't want to get them all wet, so two naked women it is. And you have to get all the parts clean, so it is a very thorough bath. It is so complete and takes so long, in fact, that when Taylor White gets home it's still going on, and boy, is she freaked the fuck out!

Eat My Muffin

Scene 4: Seducing Your Friends

This kind of thing might happen all the time around here, because when Taylor walks in on them, the two clean girls just grin, and the next vignette, while it still stars Cherie and Taylor, contains no mention of the incident. Apparently, it got smoothed over. Or maybe it's just that Taylor has other things on her mind, because the next time we see her, she's on the phone with her boyfriend, who is breaking up with her because they don't have enough sex, which - since the amount of sex they have is zero - is not unreasonable. Dad, it turns out, has told Taylor to wait for marriage, but Mom has some other ideas. Like Tanya, her idea of teaching a girl to have sex with a boy is to have some good lesbian sex. As I watch more of these, I feel less and less like I understand boy-girl sex, if that's the model. I'm not seeing a lot of similarities. Not that I'm not enjoying watching Tanya and Cherie prepare their dick-innocent daughters for a bizarre first time, but still.

Eat My Muffin

Scene 5: Caught Smoking

With the last scene, we move back to Tanya's house, where Katarina Kay has come home and is looking to burn off some stress, so she takes her vaporette, or evaper, or whatever those things are called, out for a nice relaxing vape in the backyard. Unfortunately, mom catches her! I don't know if Tanya's the same mom and Katarina is sister to the second scene's Bailey Bae and Tanya is a serial fauxcester, or if she's a whole different mom or what. The rules, like Tanya's accent, are very hard to pin down. Katarina's stress comes from a very difficult social life, but Tanya knows the solution: masturbation! Which is, for once, the right answer. Some of the dynamic of this family is revealed, though, when Tanya asks if Katarina has ever masturbated, and Katarina replies that Dad told her to wait for marriage, which raises a lot of questions. None of them is answered. Given the tattoo that Tanya has above her pussy, I have to wonder how she ended up married to a guy that would have a frank conversation about masturbation with his daughter but still recommend that she not masturbate till she was married. It's very confusing. Katarina might be confused, but a finger on the clit does wonders to focus the mind. The action thereafter is pretty standard, but I will say that Katarina has the best abs I've ever seen on a lady porn star. It might be that she is just so thin that you can see every muscle on her, but still, she looks rock-hard. Mom and daughter share an onanistic moment, but then Katarina wants more, which Tanya says Dad might not approve of, but after a moment of pro forma protest, they tacitly agree to leave Dad out of it. And that's how they end up fucking.

 

Purchase Eat My Muffin

About P. Weasels

Email P. Weasels P. Weasels Twitter
P. Weasels

P. Weasels has been working in various aspects of the porn industry since 1997, and has been a fan since 1975. He has also worked in the videogame and comic-book industries. In his spare time, he performs as a storyteller at various events in the San Francisco Bay Area and looks for things to do in the San Francisco Bay Area that will make for good stories. He has written for Gamelink, Kink.com, and the San Francisco Chronicle, and wishes he had spent more time playing baseball as a kid, because he thinks he would have made a good catcher. Email if you want to hear his idea about a great escort agency.