‘Goth Teen Nymphos 2’: Hot and Wild

I love Goths and I love Nymphos. I can take or leave Teens, to be honest — I like my women, in person, at least, a little more seasoned — but I have to admit that if you have the two things in one package, the third is at the very least forgivable. So until Joanna Angel sends me a copy of Goth MILF Nymphos, and I can’t imagine it will be long before that happens, given the prolific nature of Ivy Wolfe is kind of cute — she looks like what you’d get if someone captured Harley Quinn and had the goddamn sense to put her away in Arkham Asylum for good. I guess if you did that and then waited long enough, you’d have a Goth MILF Nympho. Although is Harley Quinn a Goth? Arguably not, but also arguably beside the point. Ivy is a cute blonde, she has a great body — 32A-22-32 — and an undeniable appetite for cock, and she spends a good deal of her scene in a straitjacket, but if you’re not a fan of porn overacting, maybe you should give this a pass. There is almost literally not a moment where she is not screaming, even when she’s not being fucked by Owen Gray. If you’re willing to buy into the fantasy, though, you’re going to want to watch this scene over and over.

Very pale and raven-haired, 32A-26-34 Evelyn Claire seems like a much more levelheaded nympho, a Goth girl with a plan. Sure, the plan is to seduce her mom’s boyfriend, but she’s still going about it in a levelheaded way. Bill Bailey is a dirty dog — he’s mostly involved with her mom for exactly the same reasons he’d fuck the daughter — and it doesn’t take much sunbathing in sexy Gothy lingerie to lure him over, I don’t know what her endgame is as far as how she expects this all to play out with her mom, but she gets a good dicking from a competent cocksman in the short run. She’s quieter, dirtier, and more convincing than the first scene, and I want more. She does too, but at least she gets a facial for closure.

32B-24-34 Goth Teen Nympho Rosalyn Sphinx wants cock — its all she thinks about, although she’s only had one. She can’t control her urges, which when you think about it is pretty much what a nympho is, so she’s right at home here. Let’s just bypass her motivations for now — you can hear them if you want to while you watch the scene — and get right to the porn. She’s masturbating at home, right out in the open, and stepfather Ramon Nomar comes and announces, with porn logic, that she’s being too loud. What they get up to after that — lots of fucking, some barely-hinted-at BDSM, some deep-throat fucking, and a load on the face — does not make her noticeably quieter.

Whitney Wright is trying to summon some spirits using some kind of Secks Magick, but not making much headway, and then when Small Hands interrupts to complain about how since she and her mom moved in things have gotten weird. Given that while he’s telling her that, she’s masturbating in a coffin, I can’t really blame him. When she invites him in to masturbate in the coffin with her, though, he starts to approach a new appreciation for her brand of Goth weirdness. You can see his point either way, really. I mean, you can forgive a lot when you have a 5’6″ 34B-25-36 nympho begging to suck your cock, even if it is in a coffin with no wifi. Things go from masturbating to fucking pretty quick, and then from fucking to a facial, and I guess if that’s not how Secks Magick should go, I don’t know anything about it. (Please feel free to write and tell me I don’t know anything about it.)