Orgy Heroes: In the Line of Fire

By: Val Williams
Lexington Steele's Orgy Heroes

 I've been to a couple of orgies, and I can tell you that the real heroes are the people who keep the condoms, lube, and - most importantly - water stocked. It's hard to …

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Lexington Steele's Orgy Heroes - Naked Truth

 I’ve been to a couple of orgies, and I can tell you that the real heroes are the people who keep the condoms, lube, and – most importantly – water stocked. It’s hard to be a hero at an event where everyone is focused on their own business – the best way to make everyone go home thinking how awesome you were is to know the rules and make sure you stick to them, but things are different in porn – Orgy Heroes has different standards to live up to.

Lexington Steele's Orgy Heroes - Naked Truth

One of porn’s favorite tropes surfaces right up front – a bunch of scantily clad porn stars acting like they know what they’re doing when they’re handling the tools of someone else’s trade; in this case, guns. Savana Styles, Lucky Starr, Aaliyah Hadid, Nicky Ferrari, and Ryan Conner get tooled up to go bust a gang of…well, we don’t know what they’re a gang of Orgy Heroes. We’re not told. We do hear that they have sexually assaulted some of the girls, but aside from that, there’s just the kind of talk of product and warehouses and shipments that you always get in movies about drugs (or, in this case, movies starring guys who have seen mnovies about drugs). I get the feeling that one day Lexington Steele was sitting around fingering his collection of guns you’re not supposed to have in California and thought “I wish I had an excuse to get these into a movie.” Thus, the girls arm themselves with a half-dozen weapons that are all suited to very different tasks – a bulldog, an AR-15, a samurai sword and a set of Wolverine claws, among other things. I don’t know who plotted the force mix for this mission, but whoever it was is probably going to be fired soon. Anyway, they storm Lex’s den, where a bunch of guys are sitting around spouting drug-themed gibberish, and announce that since those guys abused them, they’re going to fuck the guys nonconsensually just like the guys did to themm and that, as usual, is how the orgy starts. Orgy Heroes guns and pants get dropped, soon the girls are choking on dick, and before you know it, the den is hazy with sweat flying off fake tits and the slapping noises of five women getting fucked in thirteen or fourteen holes (I don’t know if everyone takes it in the ass). Ryan Conner and Aaliyah Hadid are the standouts, so try to keep track of them amongst the welter of body parts and flying jizz. The second scene, The Orgy Heroes Aerobics, is at least slightly more plausible, with Savana Styles welcoming Alura Jenson, Miss Raquel, Ariel Blue, Ziggy Star, and Jenevieve Hexxx into her studio to make them sweat. There are some actual aerobic exercises performed to exactly the kind of music that makes yuy stay away from places where people do Orgy Heroes aerobics, and it is a pleasure to watch the several tits and asses bouncing around. While the women are exercising, a couple of guys come in and start working out on the machines in the gym, and they enjoy the sight as much as I do, except that one of them starts yelling, after a few minutes, that he just can’t take it anymore, watching them look so sexy. The correct response is, of course, “Fuck off, you entitled douchebag – we’re not responsible for your inability to handle the hormonal tidal wave that accompanies a simple erection. Get out of my gym if you can’t deal with it,” but Savannah kindly stops everything and sets her students to taking care of Fratboy McPatriarch’s inopportune tantrum. Watch Jenevieve Hexxx and the astonishing bouncing ass on Miss Raquel. Also, if your tastes run to the sweet but sexy, check out Ziggy Star, who alone among the women in the gym does not look like she knows exactly how much the difference between a blowjob and a trip around the world costs. Savana Styles, having played an aerobics unstructor and some kind of den mother for semi-vengeful rape victims, turns out to be a therapist as well, and Lex stops in at her office for some couch time. Well, that’s his excuse, but I think we all know what he’s really there for. Savana certainly does, and Lex is inside her before you can say ‘pro bono’. It seems his fantasy has been to fuck a doctor, and none of the ones he tried before would let him do it. Savana’s okay with that, which you would think would be enough reason to GTFO immediately, because any doctor whose ethics are that loose is a doctor who’s probably going to drug you and experiment on you, but Lex is about as in control of his penis as the guy at the gym was, and he plows her pussy without a second thought. It turns out she’s the kind of doctor who lets you come on her face.

Val Williams

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