"Teachers 2": Eva Lovia Looks Up the Meaning of Sequel
By: Gram Ponante
Digital Playground celebrates the time-honored Porn Valley tradition of releasing a sequel that has nothing to do with the original. Regardless, Eva Lovia as a fleshy college spy in overalls looks great, and this time there are milves. In its pre-Mindgeek acquisition, Digital Playground released Robby D.’s “Teachers” in 2009 as a tentpole (ahem) movie …Read the Full Review
Teachers 2 Movie Details
|Stars:||Eva Lovia India Summer Julia Ann Tommy Gunn Aria Alexander Jayden Cole Nina Elle Rachelle Richey Samantha Hayes Jesse Jones Codi Lewis Jake Jace Seth Gamble Van Wylde|
Purchase Teachers 2WATCH NOW
Digital Playground celebrates the time-honored Porn Valley tradition of releasing a sequel that has nothing to do with the original. Regardless, Eva Lovia as a fleshy college spy in overalls looks great, and this time there are milves.
In its pre-Mindgeek acquisition, Digital Playground released Robby D.’s “Teachers” in 2009 as a tentpole (ahem) movie with its full complement of contract stars: Jesse Jane, Riley Steele, Stoya, and Katsuni. The only original cast member to return for the 2015 Jakodema “sequel” is Tommy Gunn, who doesn’t even play the same character. Perhaps the inclusion of performers like Jake Jace and Jesse Jones are tributes to Digital Playground’s most famous star? Or am I overthinking it?
Hold on. We should stop a minute, rethink this, and judge “Teachers 2” on its own merits (because Eva Lovia looks so goddamn good), even if this movie has no right calling itself a sequel.
Lovia gets a text from her old professor/adultery partner, Tommy Gunn, who wants her to check out the tactics of Briarhaven Academy, a competitor of their alma mater that apparently turns illiterates into scholars. Gunn gives Lovia a spy pen for this endeavor, then fucks her — as you’d like to as well when you see the overall ensemble she’s busting out of — on a park bench. The movie is worth it for two reasons already: the panorama offered by the park bench and the real danger the shoot might be busted at any time by whatever police force administers the valley below, and the sweet look Lovia administers Gunn when he shoots a load on her stomach. It’s as if she’s saying, “Don’t be a louse to your spouse; just bust a nut on my gut, Gunn.”
Lovia arrives for her tour of Briarhaven and is immediately checked out by a dude who wears sunglasses inside just so he can lower them as she walks by (it’s that kind of movie). She meets Dean Roosevelt (India Summer), who dispatches her on her tour so that the Dean may be serviced by two students. We realize that, somehow, all the sex students are having with the teachers at the school is why Briarhaven is performing so well. We are not sure if students are gaining knowledge by osmosis and vaginal juices or if the instructors just fudge the grades. After all, Summer’s name is misspelled in the credits — anything can happen!
A note on the wardrobe: porn set in schools exists in a rarefied time and place. Everyone needs to be over 18 but the students are all in uniform. Is this a senior-year-of-high-school-only school? A junior college that prepares students for secondary education but is still remedial enough to require a dress code? Either way, it’s a truly magical 18-month period that a whole genre of porn deals with.
During a visit to the locker room, Lovia meets Coach Julia Ann, who rewards her track star with a benchwarmer (a term I just made up for someone having sex on a bench — should have used it two scenes ago but Julia Ann, who is 45, is very inspiring).
Then Lovia stops by a Female Sexuality class that quickly becomes both Hands On and Hands In. This is a particularly dialogue-heavy scene, and the patter trips over words like “rejaculation.” Yes, rejaculation.
Finally, however, this heretofore formulaic movie resolves with an actual plot device that makes the whole thing satisfying. There is revenge, redemption, and a cumshot on the butt.
“Teachers 2” does not have the production value of its namesake but it has a better script. I’d wager it cost a third of what the original did, both because of Porn Valley’s diminished paychecks over the last six years and because the postproduction (save for the credits sequence minus spellcheck) doesn’t measure up to the first one.
But what makes this “Teachers” superior is a strong throughline and a cast that wasn’t dependent on a big star. We like Eva Lovia just fine — we don’t keep thinking “That’s Jesse Jane!” — allowing us to better appreciate the work the cast and crew put in under more constrained circumstances.